What does it mean to truly love another?

What does it mean to truly love another?

Krishnamurti QuoteLet’s talk about love. For me, this quote by Krishnamurti (philosopher) picks out one of the most true aspects I see in relationships. I’ve thought a lot about love, and what it is. Because for me I always truly believed real love was possible, but I felt that for love to be real, it didn’t make sense that it would just start to go away after you break up with someone. That would mean the love you felt was based on something temporary. Like some kind of conditions or desires they were fulfilling for you. And could we truly call that love?

Being “in love” on the other hand is a bit different because those feelings do fade at some point. Which does not mean they are not meaningful, but shows that you feel something for another that eventually will lose its “newness.” The fact of the matter is that I rarely see true love in relationships, and I believe it reflects the general awareness state of ourselves as humans in this period of time.

Truly loving someone means that it doesn’t come from a place where you only love them if they fit into some mental model you have either of who they are or what they’re doing (or not doing). You’re able to truly let go of those things and appreciate them, exactly as they are!

Truly loving someone does not mean that you need to be bound to them in any way. You need the right timing and compatibility to be committed to someone in a partnership. But you can truly love someone whether those things are in place or not.
It’s also okay if we aren’t sure if we have truly loved yet. I don’t think every relationship necessarily will contain real love.

Sometimes you have to be in a place where you are ready to actively love in that way. This happens naturally when you have come to a place where your ego doesn’t have such a firm hold on you. Where your inner world has expanded beyond yourself to a certain degree to make room for a true appreciation and compassion for others. This takes time. You learn through experience to see how often our ideas of who someone is can taint this as well, so you learn to slowly let go of those to really be able to SEE someone for what they are.I also believe that love is the most fundamental thing between two people even if the relationship doesn’t last.

Too many humans are operating in the world with themselves as the center — so the filter for their entire experience of life (not just relationships) is very much solely about fulfilling their needs, though this is invisible to them at the time. We are used to operating from within ourselves because that’s all we’ve known. But once you get to a certain point in self-realization and awareness, an inner shift will start to happen that will expand your life’s filter to be truly more inclusive of others. This is really a prerequisite to being able to come from a place where we’re not always evaluating something’s value to us based on our mental models but truly appreciating it as it is.

It is normal during our growth phases in life that we NEED to focus on ourselves. But I feel too many stay stuck in that for many reasons. It all comes from within. We must come to know and understand ourselves to begin to make that inner shift.

I’ll tell you many people are very surprised and often confused when I explain that I have been in relationships with people whom even if I’m not with them now, still truly love and care for them just the same. If the love is true and based on the right things, why shouldn’t you?

Two people truly caring for each other and supporting each other on their life journeys regardless of the status between them is a beautiful thing that should always be treasured, because it doesn’t happen often enough.


Night Time Walks in the Woods

Night Time Walks in the Woods

I love night time walks in the woods…especially on a quiet, foggy night in a place where I feel safe. The smell of wood burning reminds me of late night campfires with friends. The sound of light rain is falling on the ground and I hear running water in the distance. It stills me internally and total clarity begins to take over my mental state. I fully embrace the respite away from cars and people. Faint memories begin to come up of the eleven consecutive years I spent going to a music festival spending all night wandering fields and playing music until the break of dawn. Or buying a whole gallon of ice cream and sharing them with friends I’d see only once per year on the campgrounds as we walked in the rain. Sometimes we’d brave more intense thunderstorms as we packed in a van and sang songs together or hid in one of the nearby buildings after salvaging as much as we could of our campsites.

Damascus, OregonIt’s these moments where you learn reconnect to a deeper part of yourself — you become more grounded by re-establishing a close sense of community with no true need to go anywhere, do anything, impress anyone, etc. Just wandering freely and playing for days…every day brought a new adventure that we would make for ourselves, and at night we’d all fall asleep in our tents satisfied.

After a while you even lose your sense of time as you reconnect with nature and become the silence within that we so often lack, even if for a moment.

There’s Beauty in Pain

There’s Beauty in Pain

So many times we’re so used to getting caught up in how we think we should be feeling that we don’t allow ourselves to just feel…
For the last years I’ve been pretty stable, even for a female with monthly hormonal fluctuations and such
Even as a human that can see depth in every little thing, feeling beauty in every sunset, every animal, every tree,
it seems I’ve always had some clarity and nothing ever really carried me away until I met you —
then all of the sudden a wave washed me off the shore of my intellect and I couldn’t breathe,
in fact I could barely even let it be because I couldn’t differentiate between what was illusion and reality
and if it was just an illusion I didn’t want to let myself feel…
feel that damn, I’m not sure if what I just saw was real but I think that may just have been the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen
kind of like a shooting star that happened so far away and ended so fast but illuminated me and its light burnt itself into my memory
this same thing that might have just made me into a writer and ignited some kind of fire that for some reason I can’t put out
I can’t categorize what this is but it can’t just be me that created and fed this because I couldn’t have done it without the influence of you —
You, I just want to be surrounded by your energy indefinitely, I’ll take all of your faults and any of your negativity,
It doesn’t even matter to me because I just want to be able to raise you up so you can see what I see,
so that I can tell you “Look love, I created this for us, it’s a wide-open sky of beauty and peace. I can go there anytime and you also have a key!”
But I know in order to find it you have to first understand where to be
And without certain knowledge your path is incomplete, so here, I’ve lit you a candle that’ll illuminate your way
And we must be aware that not only light fuels us but also darkness and pain,
it’s right in through the wounds themselves that the path becomes paved
This is where we have the opportunity to learn real strength, real patience, what it means to truly keep faith
And we realize the most brilliant of light welcomes the dark with a full embrace
So when the pain shows up every…damn…day and it makes me say “I don’t know if I can do this, it hurts, life just isn’t the same”
I realize the beauty within the pain; you became all I could see — and my love for you is one of the most beautiful things that’s ever happened to me

Shadows on the wall

Shadows on the wall

In a world full of mystery i can only take hints
and life experiences leave a trail of residues
sometimes they are too powerful to be kept within
and eventually give birth to new forms

set me on fire and I end up fueling the heat
providing light and warmth for you as I burn in peace
the flames are here purifying my heart
as my mind projects your shadow on my wall

still too potent for concepts alone,
mix us together and we might find home
I search through all the dimensions of you
to find out I’m revealing my own soul

Distilling you down to your essence
I’ll pour it in a glass and I’ll drink it
You run through my blood and i feel it
Life will blend us until we are pure

love calls from afar

love calls from afar

my love for you, it burns and flickers
it has the brightness of a mass of one million stars

i feel its light and hope the radiance will touch you
as it stills my own mind and reaches to awaken yours

there’s no shutting off this endless river of love
pouring out like a faucet from my heart

in the silence is when we are most alive together
because love’s essence bubbles to the top

i lay here awaiting the fire of time and experience
to purify our hearts

my love shines for you on even the darkest of nights,
to be able to guide you home.

— Liz Bucher

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