I said I was a broken soul; nothing could repair me.
Nothing ever seemed to have much meaning anyway.
This world is nothing but a parade of images, and humanity’s keeping score —
Yeah well, I failed to fit into those frames long ago.
I’ve got a broken mind; I’m stuck in a rut and I’m probably blind.
I’ve worn this mask so long I don’t know want to know what lies behind.
I can’t even seem to let go; I’m holding on tight
But hey my time’s up — I don’t have strength to fight that fight.
Life’s broken my heart and no one lives up to their word
Sellouts, liars and fakes are at my every turn
People don’t really give a shit about you; they just pretend
So I’ll be fine by myself, I don’t need to let anyone in.
The other night something came to me, randomly in my sleep.
Maybe a dream, yet it was much more real than anything I had ever seen.
I saw my mind right in front of me; I saw all of my pain —
It was like a gigantic, visual, cause and effect chain.
I looked at my mind in 3d space as I was existing outside of it.
Immediately I exclaimed, “how is this possible?” — and then I heard a voice say:
”Don’t you see? None of this darkness nor this mind has ever been who you are.
You are a being of duality and your soul is still pure…”
It continued: “Earth is but a play; And your mind’s ideas and concepts set the stage.
You created your own prison because your pain perpetuated more pain.
It’s no mystery darkness overcame you because of your mind running this game.
You were never separate from the light, you were simply living in a cave.”
I then woke up from this “dream” in a daze and had a strong urge to cry.
I felt I had finally found what I was looking for my entire life.
I knew the voice talking to me was simply part of my self
But in this Earth school, like most, I had been partially blind.
Even so, my mind and its patterns did not immediately change
But how I subconsciously defined my “self” infinitely expanded and rearranged.
Clarity began to seep through my once shaky foundation;
I then knew what to do to let go of these self-imposed lines.
I realized we sometimes may need help from the outside
To shatter the boundaries of what we thought we knew.
Carrying through the midst of an often dark world
We might then eventually find the truth: the battle has always and will always be within.
So many times we’re so used to getting caught up in how we think we should be feeling that we don’t allow ourselves to just feel…
For the last years I’ve been pretty stable, even for a female with monthly hormonal fluctuations and such
Even as a human that can see depth in every little thing, feeling beauty in every sunset, every animal, every tree,
it seems I’ve always had some clarity and nothing ever really carried me away until I met you —
then all of the sudden a wave washed me off the shore of my intellect and I couldn’t breathe,
in fact I could barely even let it be because I couldn’t differentiate between what was illusion and reality
and if it was just an illusion I didn’t want to let myself feel…
feel that damn, I’m not sure if what I just saw was real but I think that may just have been the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen
kind of like a shooting star that happened so far away and ended so fast but illuminated me and its light burnt itself into my memory
this same thing that might have just made me into a writer and ignited some kind of fire that for some reason I can’t put out
I can’t categorize what this is but it can’t just be me that created and fed this because I couldn’t have done it without the influence of you —
You, I just want to be surrounded by your energy indefinitely, I’ll take all of your faults and any of your negativity,
It doesn’t even matter to me because I just want to be able to raise you up so you can see what I see,
so that I can tell you “Look love, I created this for us, it’s a wide-open sky of beauty and peace. I can go there anytime and you also have a key!”
But I know in order to find it you have to first understand where to be
And without certain knowledge your path is incomplete, so here, I’ve lit you a candle that’ll illuminate your way
And we must be aware that not only light fuels us but also darkness and pain,
it’s right in through the wounds themselves that the path becomes paved
This is where we have the opportunity to learn real strength, real patience, what it means to truly keep faith
And we realize the most brilliant of light welcomes the dark with a full embrace
So when the pain shows up every…damn…day and it makes me say “I don’t know if I can do this, it hurts, life just isn’t the same”
I realize the beauty within the pain; you became all I could see — and my love for you is one of the most beautiful things that’s ever happened to me
In a world full of mystery i can only take hints
and life experiences leave a trail of residues
sometimes they are too powerful to be kept within
and eventually give birth to new forms
set me on fire and I end up fueling the heat
providing light and warmth for you as I burn in peace
the flames are here purifying my heart
as my mind projects your shadow on my wall
still too potent for concepts alone,
mix us together and we might find home
I search through all the dimensions of you
to find out I’m revealing my own soul
Distilling you down to your essence
I’ll pour it in a glass and I’ll drink it
You run through my blood and i feel it
Life will blend us until we are pure