So many times we’re so used to getting caught up in how we think we should be feeling that we don’t allow ourselves to just feel…
For the last years I’ve been pretty stable, even for a female with monthly hormonal fluctuations and such
Even as a human that can see depth in every little thing, feeling beauty in every sunset, every animal, every tree,
it seems I’ve always had some clarity and nothing ever really carried me away until I met you —
then all of the sudden a wave washed me off the shore of my intellect and I couldn’t breathe,
in fact I could barely even let it be because I couldn’t differentiate between what was illusion and reality
and if it was just an illusion I didn’t want to let myself feel…
feel that damn, I’m not sure if what I just saw was real but I think that may just have been the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen
kind of like a shooting star that happened so far away and ended so fast but illuminated me and its light burnt itself into my memory
this same thing that might have just made me into a writer and ignited some kind of fire that for some reason I can’t put out
I can’t categorize what this is but it can’t just be me that created and fed this because I couldn’t have done it without the influence of you —
You, I just want to be surrounded by your energy indefinitely, I’ll take all of your faults and any of your negativity,
It doesn’t even matter to me because I just want to be able to raise you up so you can see what I see,
so that I can tell you “Look love, I created this for us, it’s a wide-open sky of beauty and peace. I can go there anytime and you also have a key!”
But I know in order to find it you have to first understand where to be
And without certain knowledge your path is incomplete, so here, I’ve lit you a candle that’ll illuminate your way
And we must be aware that not only light fuels us but also darkness and pain,
it’s right in through the wounds themselves that the path becomes paved
This is where we have the opportunity to learn real strength, real patience, what it means to truly keep faith
And we realize the most brilliant of light welcomes the dark with a full embrace
So when the pain shows up every…damn…day and it makes me say “I don’t know if I can do this, it hurts, life just isn’t the same”
I realize the beauty within the pain; you became all I could see — and my love for you is one of the most beautiful things that’s ever happened to me