Learning to Forgive Yourself and Others

Learning to Forgive Yourself and Others

At some point in our lives, all of us have been wronged by another person and felt hurt, angry or resentful. This is a natural reaction and part of being human. However, if we do not resolve or come to terms with these hurts, they drive our actions and create a negative way of life. By harboring past hurts, we have the potential to do far more harm to ourselves than anyone else can possibly do.

“All illness is caused by not forgiving.”
    – Native American belief

Forgiving others – or yourself – does not mean forgetting or condoning what happened, or giving up the values that were violated or assuming you are at fault; nor is it condemning the other person or seeking justice or compensation.

Forgiveness can be viewed as foregoing the resentment or revenge when the wrongdoer’s action deserves it and giving the gifts of mercy, generosity and love when the wrongdoer does not seem to deserve them. To release the shackles of the past, we must be willing to forgive.

Forgiveness is about creating a state “for giving” – both to self and others – and excusing a mistake or an offense and letting go of the associated hurt, anger or resentment. Forgiveness has the greatest benefit to the person doing the forgiving, and it is one of the greatest gifts that you can give to yourself.

Forgiving allows us to get on with our lives and to open up our minds and hearts to new ways of seeing others, the world and ourselves. It releases energy that can be used for other, more productive thoughts and actions.

7 Blocks To Creative Thinking And How To Solve Them

7 Blocks To Creative Thinking And How To Solve Them

Each of us has the power to be creative. It’s part of our natural makeup as human beings. The trouble is that, too often, we block our natural creativity and end up making errors in thinking and give ourselves more problems than we should.

Here are 7 ways to open up your natural creativity and keep the channels unblocked:

1. Don’t Make Assumptions.
Assumptions are essentially examples of lazy thinking. We simply don’t wait to get all the information we need to come to the right conclusions. There is the story of the customer at the bank who after cashing a check and turning to leave, returns and says: “Excuse me, I think you made a mistake.” The cashier responds, “I’m sorry but there’s nothing I can do. You should have counted it. Once you walk away we are no longer responsible.” Whereupon the customer replies: “Well, okay. Thanks for the extra $20.”
Tip: Try to notice your own mind when you begin wanting to draw conclusions, and remind yourself to just wait until you have all the information.

2. Remember to Try to See Things From Other Points Of View. A truly open mind is willing to accept that, not only do other people have other just as valid points of view from theirs, but that these other points of view could potentially be more valid. A story is told that the modernist painter Pablo Picasso was once traveling on a train across Spain when he got into conversation with a rich businessman who was dismissive of modern art. As evidence that modern art didn’t properly represent reality, he took out a photo of his wife from his wallet and said: “This is how my wife should look, not in some silly stylized representation.” Picasso took the photo, studied it for a few moments and asked: “This is your wife?” The businessman proudly nodded. “She’s very small,” observed Picasso wryly.
Tip: Don’t have a monopoly on how things are. Things aren’t always what they seem.

3. Avoid Yo-Yo Thinking. Some people tend to have a tendency to swing from a highly positive mood one minute to a highly negative one the next, all because of what they see in front of them. It’s like a yo-yo: up one minute, down the next. It’s far more healthy to stay neutral and not let emotions get the better of you.
Tip: Remember that things are rarely as good – or as bad – as you think they are.

4. Get Rid Of Lazy Thinking Habits. Habit can be a major stumbling block to clear thinking and another example of laziness. Try this experiment: Write down the Scottish surnames Macdonald, Macpherson, and Macdougall and ask someone to pronounce them. Now follow these with the word Machinery and see what happens. Most people are likely to mispronounce it. This is because we tend to think in habitual ways and don’t like what doesn’t fit.
Tip: Don’t think that, just because things happened in a certain way once before, that they will happen like that again.

5. Don’t Think Like An Older Person, Think Like A Child. Research shows that the number of synapses, or connections, in the brain is greater in a child of two than in an average adult. The reason for this is that, while a child of two has no limiting world view, as adults we do. It’s like a sculptor who starts off with a large block of clay, more than he needs, and then gradually removes the clay as he molds his sculpture. If we use our brain like a child, accepting everything without judgment, we can actually halt and reverse the brain aging process.
Tip: Don’t worry about the myth of age! With the right stimulus and a passion for learning, you can actually improve your brain’s powers.

6. Try to See The Detail As Well As The Big Picture. You may know the poem by John Godfrey Saxe called “The Blind Men and the Elephant”. This tells how six blind men of Indostan (an ancient Indian subcontinent) go to see an elephant and each try to work out what it is from touching it. One blind man touches the tusk, another the trunk, another the tail, and so on. Of course, not being able to see the whole elephant, they come to wildly different conclusions.
Tip: Try to keep the big picture in front of you while looking at details. It will help to put everything in its proper place and context.

7. Think For Yourself. Taking time out to think is still frowned on in many organizations that prize activity over creativity. People who work in creativity-constrained organizations are likely to think the way they are supposed to think, or as others think, or as has always been the way to think. It’s like the blinkered thinking that Hans Christian Anderson describes in his story of “The Emperor’s New Clothes”. Everyone in the land refuses to see that the emperor is naked and has been duped into believing he is wearing a splendid costume for his coronation. Only a young boy who has been ill and not party to the cultural brainwashing can see the truth and cries out: “Look, everyone, the Emperor is wearing no clothes!”
Tip: Don’t let others tell you how to think. When others ask your opinion, tell it to them straight.

 

Walking a Tightrope: Learning Unwavering Faith and Letting Go

Walking a Tightrope: Learning Unwavering Faith and Letting Go

If you know me well, you know that from a young age I have had some unique experiences in regards to “spirituality”, by which you can attribute many different names. I call them my “meditation experiences,” but they are also called “metaphysical” or “mystical,” or simply just spiritual experiences. However, they happened of their own accord without any particular beliefs or intent to try to bring something about.

Usually what happens is I get a very small picture from my intuition, or a vision of something pulling me strongly in one direction or another. In the moment it’s just enough to allow me a glimpse at a drastically new perspective or world even, but without fully understanding it yet. This then usually marks the beginning of a journey within to reveal the full picture of what my intuition is telling me.

Since having these kinds of experiences, I have been a lot more cognizant of the cause and effect of my life’s events and what they might mean for the bigger picture. I realized that everything truly is a lesson and my entire life’s experience has been such a dance between my human experience and my soul (as it is for everyone, whether we are aware of it or not).

My latest lesson has been such an unbelievably difficult test in balancing letting go into unwavering faith, and its other side: doubt and questioning. It feels as though I’m walking on a tightrope and every day’s outcome is different. It has encompassed some of the deepest emotional pain I have ever had, with at other times, some of the most magical moments. And, it takes me back and forth from periods of sadness and doubt to periods of absolute clarity and seeing the big picture.

During those times I am seeing the big picture, I always feel content in thinking it’ll be difficult now that I’m holding that perspective to spiral back down into doubt or sadness. But no, it has happened every time. Simply because I still have some level of attachment or fear that creeps up and causes it.

So this “tightrope walking” feels like a condensed timeline to learning to absolutely trust in the bigger picture and let go of my attachment to the outcome. It is condensed, because on a near daily basis I am having to release, let go, and have faith in the bigger picture’s story in order to be able to create and sustain my own happiness. It has been a true sink or swim scenario.

It has also taken me from such a sense of confidence and self-awareness I had before, to a place of not quite insecurity but a period of questioning myself and seeing new aspects of myself that I didn’t address or pay attention to before; things that I don’t particularly like.

What has been even more difficult for me still is that this time, it has been a silent journey. I am used to being able to share what I’m feeling with those around me and I do so freely. But in this case it feels futile and almost like I am not supposed to share some of the details of the journey, at least for now.

So while it often feels like I am going backwards in progress, overall I realize I am going forward. But it is just simply not without absolute pain, fear, the humbling of the ego, and a very shaky ground beneath me at times.

Your Guide to Essential Oils for Home Care

Your Guide to Essential Oils for Home Care

Essential oils provide a fantastic natural alternative to common ailments. The actions of essential oils are broad, ranging from topical antiseptics and anti-inflammatories to analgesics, digestive system tonics, and anti-depressants.

While essential oils should not be a substitute for professional medical care, they can be successfully employed for many minor complaints, and as adjuncts to other therapies.

Here we will have a brief look at ten essential oils which may comprise the ‘basic home care kit’. While by no means exhaustive, this list will go a long way to providing effective (and often pleasant!) treatments for you and your family for things like cuts and scrapes, sunburn, digestive troubles, stress related conditions and more.

Oil #1: Tea Tree Essential Oil

When first examined for it’s antiseptic properties, Tea Tree essential oil was found to be 100 times more powerful than carbolic acid – the medical standard at the time. Tea tree has an extremely broad range of antibiotic, antiviral and antifungal properties that have been confirmed by modern scientific research. Often used topically on small wounds, Tea Tree is also commonly found in oral hygiene preparations, and can also be effectively employed for Candida, athlete’s foot and acne, among other things.

Oil #2: Lavender Essential Oil

Lavender has often been called the ‘medicine chest in a bottle’ for its broad range of applications. Every home should keep Lavender on hand, even if no other oil is used, as it is so very effective on burns. It’s anti-inflammatory action is responsible for the beginnings of modern aromatherapy, as Dr. Jean Valnet discovered Lavender’s healing properties after being burned in a laboratory accident. Lavender is considered to speed wound healing and reduce scarring. The oil is also pleasantly calming, and can be used to reduce stress in a variety of situations – a commonly used technique is to apply Lavender oil ‘neat’ (undiluted) to the soles of the feet of patients recovering from almost any ailment.

Oil #3: Chamomile Essential Oil

Ah, the great tension reliever, Chamomile oil. This extremely gentle essential oil is useful for a wide variety of nervous conditions, and is often indicated for cases of stress in children (including teething and general ‘crankiness’). Rubbing into the solar plexus is a commonly used application if that is where one tends to ‘hold tension’. Chamomile essential oil is available in to varieties, German or Blue Chamomile and Roman Chamomile. The Roman variety is most often used for stress relief, whereas the German variety has the added bonus of being an extremely effective anti-inflammatory.

Oil #4: Peppermint Essential Oil

An excellent digestive tonic, Peppermint essential oil can sooth many stomach complaints. For the traveler, it’s effectiveness on calming motion sickness can be of great help. Further, at least eight controlled studies have shown Peppermint oil to be effective in reducing symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome, a painful condition of the intestines. Beyond it’s support of the digestive system, Peppermint is delightfully stimulating to the mind, brightening and sharpening mental focus. Finally, Peppermint is considered by some to be a more effective insect repellent than citronella when used on the body (rather than in the surrounding air).

Oil #5: Eucalyptus Essential Oil

Another essential oil with a broad range of properties, Eucalyptus is most often used for respiratory conditions, being useful in clearing congestion with coughs and colds. However, it’s effects are certainly not limited to the airways – because of it’s broad range of effects, it has been called the aromatherapists ‘designer oil’. Eucalyptus oil can cool the body in Summer (or due to fever – use in a compress), and support the immune system in Winter. Diffusing Eucalyptus oil can kill most staphylococcus bacteria, again being supportive of bronchial infections. It is considered equally effective in cases of cystitis, candida, and sunburn, to name a few, as well as being an insect repellent.

Oil #6: Geranium Essential Oil

Geranium (sometimes known as ‘Geranium Rose’) works wonderfully on both physiological and psychological levels. It’s floral aroma is brightening and uplifting, while also working as a sedative. Malte Hozzel has made this statement regarding this oil : “Geranium’s vital, sensual presence is not subtle, but direct & unavoidable, making it one of the oils of choice for aphrodisiac qualities. (Geranium Essential Oil) inspires natural beauty & enjoyment, uplifts instantly & “tonifies” the mind & intellect in a powerful, nearly demanding attitude. Mobilizing hidden creative & emotional reserves, helping us to rise to our own earthly & spiritual identify. A fiery beauty for the spells of all worlds.” Particularly noted for it’s effect on female physiologic conditions, Geranium oil can be effective for menopausal problems, uterine and breast complaints.

Oil #7: Rosemary Essential Oil

Rosemary essential oil is an effective physical and mental stimulant, whether used in a diffuser or in a morning bath. It’s slightly spicy, rather than floral aroma, has a warming effect particularly useful for arthritic joints and other muscular complaints. It also has a long history of treatment for colds and flu – Rosemary was a component of ‘Four Thieves Vinegar’, which robbers rubbed upon their bodies to prevent infection when up to no good during the plague years of the middle ages. Also, Rosemary is the essential oil most often associated with improving hair growth in cases of Alopecia.

Oil #8: Thyme Essential Oil

Thyme oil is a powerful antiviral, antibiotic, antiseptic and diuretic, though it should be employed with great care. There are many types of Thyme oil available, but only the ‘linalol’ chemotype is appropriate for use with children; all varieties should be diluted prior to topical application. Given the precautions, Thyme can be a first line of defense in cases of flu, being used in a room diffuser. It also supports elimination of toxic wastes from the body (particularly noted for excessive uric acid), and it’s warming quality can eliminate mucous and phlegm. It’s application for the digestive system is that of a powerful anti-parasitic, and for the muscular system, it can be helpful for rheumatic aches and pains. Thyme oil may also be supportive in cases of hair loss.

Oil #9: Lemon Essential Oil

A recent study on test-taking college students showed the diffusion of Lemon oil into a room improved test scores more than any other oil. In addition to it’s mind-brightening qualities, it can also disinfect room air and act as a natural deodorant. Lemon has been noted to support liver function, and is also commonly used to assist in weight loss and cellulite reduction. In blends, lemon adds a pleasant top note, and can create a synergistic effect with other oils. Finally, Lemon oil is commonly used as both a fragrance and flavoring agent.

Oil #10: Clove Bud Essential Oil

The power of Clove essential oil is noted upon the first sensing of the aroma – it is quite strong, sharp and earthy. Clove oil has been found to be the strongest anti-oxidant of any essential oil, and is a component of ‘longevity’ formulas. It is also an extremely potent antibacterial, effective against a broader range of microbes than any other oil except perhaps Oregano – Clove oil has even been employed to sterilize surgical instruments. Clove also has analgesic properties, and can be used to temporarily reduce the pain of toothache. Clove oil (or ground cloves) is also a component of Dr. Huda Clark’s anti-parasite protocol, helping eliminate parasites from one’s digestive system. This is a very powerful oil which should be diluted to 1% or less for topical application.

So, there we have a possible ‘top ten’ essential oils for the home medicine chest, a selection with an extremely broad range of uses for common ailments that we see.

It is important to note that all essential oils are powerful, and they should be treated with caution and respect.

Always refer to a trusted source before making specific applications of any oil, as many can be irritating or possibly toxic if used incorrectly.

Note: The links for each essential oil above are all for Rocky Mountain Oils. After doing incredible amounts of research on essential oil companies, I settled on Rocky Mountain Oils. For one thing, they are a non-MLM essential oil company. I do believe doTERRA also has high quality oils but I personally preferred to be part of a non-MLM company.

Essential Oils to Keep (or Restore) Calm

Essential Oils to Keep (or Restore) Calm

Article written by Patrick Bailey.

This year has been a stressful one, with COVID-19, lockdowns, and other uncertainties.

Some might be running a hot bath and hoping Calgon can take them away, and others might be eyeing those amber-glassed vials housing essential oils and wondering if a few drops of lavender and a shake of orange oil can lift spirits or restore calm.

Considering there are literally dozens of essential oils — and infinitely more blends — it’s a tempting prospect and one that’s not without merit.

Essential Oils 101

Essential oils are made when parts of a plant are steamed or pressed to collect the fragrance compounds — basically the essence of a plant.

Sometimes they’re just used for aromatherapy — breathe in some flower scents and enjoy some springtime smells or blend a few for fragrant effect.

Others like essential oils because they offer antifungal, antiviral, and antibacterial qualities. Tea tree oil has been shown to have antifungal properties, for example.

Often essential oils get added to soaps, candles, perfumes, air freshener sprays or diffusers, or cleaning concoctions. They’re also diluted into carrier or base oils (like coconut, almond, or avocado) for various health benefits (both from the base and the add-ins). Essentials oils also tend to be diluted into sprays and lotions because it’s not always a good idea to apply them in pure form directly to the skin. (At least not without doing a little bit of homework.) Some can cause rashes. Others can be poisonous when swallowed. 

Then, as Poison.org points out, “anyone can be allergic to anything.” Enough said.

Pregnant women, children and pets — or anyone with allergies or other health concerns — are not ideal candidates for essential oils either. 

Oils for Calm

Essential oils tend to stir up a bit of debate. Those who are wholeheartedly in favor of these fragrant oils swear they can ease migraines, erase anxiety, and much more. Then there is the anti-oils camp. They say it’s a bunch of hooey.

They remain popular, however, and many do love their essential oils, especially for calming purposes. Here are a few to consider which have withheld the tests of time and soared above the hype.

Chamomile

There are two main types of daisy-like chamomile — Roman and German — and it’s long held a place in people’s hearts as a soothing herb. Some sip the tea for comfort. Others put it into lotions (especially in Europe) to help stressed skin. And still others like the herbal and earthy scent (of the German variety) or slightly sweet and fruity (the Roman variety) for a soothing sniff

lemon essential oils

Citrus 

Citrusy extracts make for very popular essential oils. Many people enjoy the invigorating and uplifting scent, and some find orange and its zingy kin are great at reducing tension and anxiety. Other citrusy oils are commonly used to soothe frayed nerves, including bergamot and lemon. Lemon balm, which comes from the mint family, has an uplifting, lemony aroma that has long been used to induce calm. It may be mostly anecdotal, but its popularity persists.

Clary Sage

This herb comes from the salvia family, and boasts a woody, sweet, clean scent. It gets used both in perfumes and to help flavor liqueurs and vermouths. It’s also said to be especially good for the ladies, relaxing crampy muscles and calming hormones

Lavender

Lavender is one of the most popular oils used in aromatherapy, particularly for anxiety. A lot of people find its scent soothing, so it’s found its way into many lotions, bath bombs, and other pampering products. There is some small evidence it can help people sleep better, too.

Peppermint

Peppermint is a beloved calming oil. It can help irritable bowel syndrome (calming the tummy) and easing digestion overall. Some people find it’s a great way to help tension headaches, especially when dabbed on temples.

Get the Real Deal

If you do go shopping for essential oils, be sure you’re getting the real stuff. Things to look for include:

  • Labels. Make sure it has the Latin name of the plant, tells you where the plant was grown, and if other ingredients have been added besides the oils.
  • Dark, glass containers. Pure oils are concentrated and they can wear down plastic bottles or leach chemicals from them. Clear glass vials are more prone to lose potency or get altered if exposed to bright sunlight.
  • No to “fragrance.” Fragrance or perfume oils are not pure. Usually they’re a mix of real and chemical additives, or just chemicals posing as the real thing. A lavender perfume oil might smell something like lavender, but it will not have the same soothing chemical compounds or effects.
  • Research the seller. This includes looking at prices. Some oils are more rare, like jasmine or rose absolute, so they’ll be more pricey — sometimes much moreso. Other oils, like lemon or orange, are easier to produce, so they’ll cost considerably less. Also, research the company. If it’s well known and reputable, that’s a good start. If it’s a new spot with few reviews, you may want to pass on purchasing, or at least wait and see.

One thing’s for certain: If you love the scent of lavender and it makes you happy, that’s enough. There’s not a lot of research, and there aren’t a lot of human studies, so there are many unknowns when it comes to essential oils. Just be sure to read the label first before you try this type of treatment, especially if you’re considering applying it to your skin or ingesting it.

Author Bio: Patrick Bailey is a professional writer mainly in the fields of mental health, addiction, and living in recovery. He attempts to stay on top of the latest news in the addiction and the mental health world and enjoy writing about these topics to break the stigma associated with them. If you want to find more articles by Patrick, you can find them on his personal blog or in Sunshine Behavioral Health.

Why Men Withdraw Emotionally

Why Men Withdraw Emotionally

This is written by Keith Artisan:

“In a relationship, having your partner withdraw at an emotional level can bring confusion, pain and frustration.

Women who relate to men that do this are often bewildered by why and how this happens.

Speaking as a man, and one who considers himself sensitive and emotionally available, there are particular situations and scenarios that cause me to withdraw. And I imagine that other men, regardless of how in-tune they are with their emotional nature, would respond in similar ways.

Just because a man withdraws does not mean he is withdrawing from you.

First, I just wanted to express that when a man seeks solace or withdraws from a conversation, it probably has nothing to do with the beloved. It has more to do with the emotional intensity and confusion around emotions than with any particular person. It just takes men more time to integrate and understand the watery realm of emotions. And understanding emotions isn’t something that happens for us spontaneously in the midst of a heated discussion.

We need space and time to figure out what is happening, both within our own self and with our beloved.

Men have been discouraged from feeling emotional. We have been mocked, attacked, and belittled when showing emotions. Big boys don’t cry, toughen up, and bite the bullet are all phrases men grow up with. So when we are faced with emotional situations, we are total novices.

The biggest harm that is not recognized or appreciated for the depth of damage that it causes at the emotional level to a man is that men are expected to be tough, to protect, and kill to defend their family. Violence, and the expectation of violence, mandates an absence of emotional sensitivity.

It is a double standard to expect a man to be emotionally available and to have him be able to harm another human being.

Have compassion and understand the kind of conundrum that a man faces when being emotional vulnerable and awakening to deeper sensitivities. It is rare enough to find a man who wants to delve within and unleash his inner passion. It doesn’t mean that he is going to be masterful at it. For men to be comfortable in their own skin and accept their feeling nature takes a growth curve.

A woman has a lifetime of experience navigating the oceanic tides of emotional states.

Women grow up with emotional states and are accepted as sensitive, feeling beings. She is able to observe, feel, recognize and better communicate her feelings than a man. Women are also adept at observing and recognizing the emotional states in other people. And when a woman finds a man who loves her, at some level, she feels a great deal of hope because she has found an emotional match, somebody who understands those hidden tides and influences.

Women will share all their heart and feelings, and not understand how this can impact a man. And when a man doesn’t respond as she needs, the feelings of being hurt or misunderstood arise. How those feelings are expressed matter a great deal.

The best men want an intimate connection with women, and often don’t know how to do that.

Men don’t fall short in the emotional realm because we are emotionally immature. We are emotionally inexperienced. Men face expectations and pressure about emotions that are confusing and contradictory. And when we find a woman who loves us and we love in return, it brings to life a living fire that had been suppressed for a lifetime. Yet fires burn, and the burgeoning sensitivities is akin to a child learning to walk. We fall down, we make blunders, and we are blind as to how to listen and communicate our emotions.

Men experience a learning curve when awakening to their deepest sensitivities.

And just as any beginner, they make mistakes. Sometimes the mistakes are colossal, and sometimes laughable. Men need an emotional example, how to be alive with and operate with emotions in a healthy way. We also need to be accepted as we are, beginners with beautiful intention. To demand for a man to have the mastery over their emotions is an outrageous expectation. For most men, mastery over emotions means suppressing them, hiding feelings behind a mask of stoicism, or just turning off the emotions entirely. It takes time to even identify the subtle emotions, let alone to know how they function and their influence on our own self and those around us.

Any teacher knows that mocking a beginner or putting them down, criticizing them or their approach, will stunt the learning curve, if not completely stopping it.

The beloved woman becomes that guide into the mysterious realms of feeling emotions. When she expresses anger, puts down her man, belittles or mocks him, a man feels attacked. When she demands him to be sensitive, a man feels not good enough.

And when a man faces a woman’s wrath he will respond in the ways he has been taught to feel emotions since early childhood ; with anger. Anger is one of the few emotions accepted in men because it is a necessary emotion to be a soldier-killer. Anger is a natural defensive response for men. And once we become angry with our beloved, there is a host of problems that arise afterwards. Guilt, shame, inadequacy, failure, and fear. These siblings to anger are inevitable when fury shows its face, especially when we know that our loved one has been hurt as a result of our anger.

The words spoken in anger harm the recipient and the speaker.

It takes time for a man to feel comfortable feeling emotions. After all, such a man is challenging the tenets and pressure of an entire society and its deeply ingrained training.

A man’s natural response when hurt or confused is to withdraw. Almost everybody knows about the masculine need to retreat to the cave. And whether this is physical space, or mental space, or even silence, the cave is an essential healing tool for the manly mind. The cave allows integration of the experience, introspection to see what is happening within, and understanding to know how to better respond in the future.

Women set the example and emotional tone that allows their partner to feel safe.

When a man faces a woman who is emotionally stable, it allows him to understand his own emotions. The depth of understanding that the woman has with herself and her own emotional nature will give him the security to express and unveil his own strengths. The woman who is emotionally secure brings a presence of emotional security to the relationship. A well meaning man will appreciate this and do his best, and grow faster and reveal the depths of his spirit with increasing strength and confidence.

Granted, the ideal is that a man can figure out his emotional state and come into his own emotional maturity through his own self-generated willpower. Yet the reality is that teachers, guides and mentors accelerate this process and help a person navigate the confusing and mysterious realms of emotions. There are a great many pitfalls and bewildering mirages when it comes to the shifting sands of sensitivities. And as man learns his emotional state, he is also facing the additional challenges from his friends, family, and world that challenges that awakening at every step.

Gentle understanding and compassionate acceptance brings healing and deepens the relationship. One of the best qualities women have is the ability to nurture.

Nurturing is not aggressive. And with a man, directing aggression at him will generate an aggressive response. He will either fight or run. The flight or fight response is deeply ingrained into every human being. In essence, attacking a man who is opening his heart will trigger a survival level instinct. Once that survival level power fully awakens in relationship, the dynamics in the relationship changes and may never come back to equilibrium.

Nurturing is not forceful, instead it is accepting and allows for a natural growth curve. Be patient.

Just as a tree takes time to come into its fullness and blossom, a man who is learning to embrace his deeper truths will need time to fully ripen into his potential.

Appreciate the men who take the time to stand up against society to discover, feel, live and unleash their sensitive side. It takes a lion’s heart full of courage to face down societal expectations and programmed beliefs. Give him gratitude, honour his spirit, thank him for being available with his sensitivity in ANY way that he is able.

Such a person is one of a kind, a warrior in the truest meaning of the word.”

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